Politics, Satire, Sports, Trans
Local politicians driven to abolishing fairness in athletics have passed laws forcing boys to play on the girls’ teams.
“We saw that Texas boy go 88-0 against girls in wrestling and thought, wow, this is exactly what we need to do to destroy girls’ sports!” quips an Alabama state politician on condition of anonymity. “Nobody cares about girls’ athletics anyway. But seeing a trans kid go uncontested for multiple championships? Yeah, that’s the stuff.”
Texas athletic rules prevented transgender wrestler Mack Beggs from competing with the other boys because he was assigned female at birth. Since graduating, he now competes on the men’s team at the collegiate level.
Southern politicians seem determined to recreate this feat throughout the region, though they seem unconcerned with the plight of trans girl athletes.
“Look, I feel for those girls, I really do. But Southern crowds like nothing better than watching girls get obliterated by the boys. Why limit that to just girls’ sports when we can force a few girls to play on the boys’ team?”